The way we can build self-reliance is to recognize the number of alternative choices we have in a free society. And for every choice we make, there is a consequence or reward of that decision that we must acknowledge as our responsibility. God´s Law of Cause and Effect is forever the ruler.

During debriefing interviews, returning POW´s from the wars in which we have fought during the past century said that what they missed most of all was their freedom of choice. There are two primary choices in our lives: to accept conditions as they exist or to accept the responsibility for changing them.

To attain emotional security, each of us must learn to develop two critical capabilities: the ability to live with uncertainty, and the ability to delay immediate gratification in favor of long-range goals. Losers let life happen to them. Winners make it happen for themselves and others. Losers engage in pleasurable activities, with no purpose or result in mind. Losers try to escape from their fears and drudgery with activities that are tension- relieving. Winners are motivated by their desires toward activities that are goal-achieving.

A number of research studies during the past decade indicate that the happiest, most well-adjusted individuals are those who believe they have a strong measure of control over their lives. They choose more appropriate responses to what occurs and they stand up to inevitable changes and daily setbacks with less apprehension. They learn from their past mistakes, rather than reinforce or repeat them. They spend time taking action in the present, rather than fearing what might happen in the future.

To be self-reliant adults, we need to get some guidelines: Be different, if it means higher personal and professional standards.

Be different, if it means being more gracious and considerate to others.

Be different, if it means being cleaner, neater and better groomed than the group.

Be different, if it means putting more time and effort into all you do.

And be different, if it means taking the calculated risk. The greatest risk in life is to wait for and depend upon others for your own security. The greatest security is to plan and act, and take the risk that will ultimately ensure your personal freedom and independence.

- Eleanor Roosevelt

We were at some friend’s house the other day and the wife mentioned some other acquaintances of ours. “It sure is too bad, all the bad luck they have,” She said.

My first thought was, “Bad habits, not bad luck.”

My second thought was, “Or is it bad choices?”

You see, there is a difference. What we many times call bad luck is merely bad choices.

Let me explain:

If you work hard, buy a new car, keep it up with regular maintenance and blow a tire driving down the road, that is bad luck.

However, if you drive on your tires until they are almost bald and drive at speeds higher than they are recommended for, and keep them at the wrong inflation level, and then the tire blows, that is not bad luck but bad choices. The tire blew because you chose not to buy new ones. The tire blew because you chose not to take the time to check your tire inflation level the last time you filled up the tank.

It is bad luck to leave your house on vacation and while you are away the gas line breaks and the house blows up.

It is bad habits to not tend to taking care of your house, replacing the roof, painting, etc until it is a junk pile.

It is bad luck to be let go from a company that goes into meltdown because the CEO acted unethically and the stock tanks, forcing layoffs.

It is both bad choices and bad habits to be late to work everyday, display shoddy workmanship and have a bad attitude to the point that the boss fires you.

If you choose to frequent shady parts of town or risky establishments, and you get mugged, is that bad luck or bad choices?

You get the point.

How often do we call something bad luck when it is really the result of bad habits or bad choices?

This really boils down to a matter of ownership of our lives and actions. Do we take full responsibility for our lives or not?

I know of a gentleman who was recently passed over for a job. It would have paid him $13,000 for a week’s worth of work. The person who passed him over told me why. Knowing this gentleman, I said, “It is too bad, because with a few good choices, that guy could be living in a nice house, driving nice cars, and having very few financial problems.”

What about you? Do you experience bad luck? Or bad habits? Or bad choices?

The next time you hear someone say, “He’s down on his luck,” perhaps you ought to ask, “Or is he down on his choices?”

I have found that those who have good habits and make good choices tend to experience the best luck!

So, if you want a little good luck, make some good choices and develop some good habits.